Every summer I scale back my digital use to reconnect with sunshine, with nature, and most importantly with myself. Winter is often a time of deep reflection for me, and often leads to good changes in my habits, like starting to document my journey with finances here. While I didn’t anticipate that it would be difficult for me to maintain a writing schedule once summer hit, it’s been surprisingly insightful to put my ideas into practice without the daily support system I’d created for myself by reading the fantastic finance blogging community.
By far the biggest shift in beginning to achieve my finance goals has been changing my mental and emotional relationship to money. I’ve never been a typical consumer in the sense of clothes, shoes, or electronics, but I’ve certainly spent years of my adult life frivolously throwing cash at food, at music (primarily concerts that often meant more food and beverage spending), at experiences with my kiddo that I know now could have been done practically for free if I’d researched a bit more.
I thought I felt good about myself that I didn’t “want” the clothes and shoes that a lot of my friends enjoyed buying, but the truth is that I felt I “couldn’t afford” to buy unnecessary things and therefore I was a bit self-righteous in not desiring those things. Then I turned around and easily justified to myself the spending on lunches out with friends, coffee treats on payday, music shows where friends’ bands were playing, science museum passes, cheap seat movie tickets, and car rentals to drive to a far suburb where a friend was a theatre production designer for free admission to musicals that my son loved. I’m sure I spent a lot more on those choices than I ever would have on my style of clothing and shoes!
The difference now is that I’m not looking at my strict budget and feeling that I can’t purchase something — I’m looking at all the things I DO have and feeling grateful for my home, my pets, the appliances that make daily life easier, my car, my bicycle, and the fact I have a job that allows me the money for all of these things. It’s a choice not to “treat” myself to something that’s not really a treat, because I know that that $4 coffee isn’t worth losing sight of my goals. The choice not to treat myself with that $4 coffee is now self-rewarding, because I deeply love the ritual of making my own cup in the morning and sipping it while waking up slowly.
I’ve seen a lot of advice over the years regarding gratitude, such as ending your day with noting things for which you are grateful. I’ve been doing something similar for a few months, but I start my day in gratitude and thanks. Right as I wake up, I write (ok scribble, this is pre-caffeine and lacking glasses) something I am truly grateful for right that moment. Usually it’s my elderly dog snuggled up with me, but today it was the realization that it was only Sunday and I could read for a few hours instead of jumping up to go to work (this doesn’t happen very often, but what a GIFT that calendar-mis-awareness is!!). When I first started this practice, I was writing more along the lines of setting an intention for the day. I’ve found, however, that feeling thankful for what is already present in my life first thing has been even more profound. I don’t need to choose a specific intention, because everything I want is already present. This doesn’t mean all my debt is magically gone and I can retire tomorrow, rather, it does mean that right now I already have the tools and the drive to make that happen.
And so do you! Wherever you are in your financial journey, the fact you’re on the internet reading, researching, or making connections with folks in the finance blog world means you already have taken steps to move in the right direction for you. You already have everything you need to start that journey. I’ve realized that I have everything I need and more, and the pull of spending has rapidly lessened the more abundant I feel.